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20

Apr

fullmetalfisting:

Some women want to be house wives and some women want to be Harvard professors and some women want to be porn stars and some women want to be nuns and some women want to be surgeons and there is nothing wrong with anyone’s profession I am sick of people being rude to women about their professions oh my god

A Supernatural Guide to Angels

Michael:
Originally nice but turned out to be a douche
Zachariah:
Douchiest douche to ever douche in the history of douches
Raphael:
Douche to the millionth power
Anna:
Awesome for a few episodes then became a douche
Uriel:
Douche that was actually an ultra douche
Castiel:
Actually not a douche except for that one time he ate a bazillion dead monster souls and went through a period of douchiness (it was just a phase)
Satan:
The only one who was never a douche everyone wants to fuck him or hug him, preferably both
Balthazar:
Smartass, self-serving douche that we actually liked but died due to his affiliation with the Winchesters
Naomi:
Douchey douche until like two hours before her death whoops
Gabriel:
A douche but we love him anyway because he's funny
Gadreel:
Fucking douchemaster
Virgil:
Typical angle douche until he killed the attractive crying man and leveled up into a black belt of douchiness
Metatron:
douche douche douche douche douche douche douche douche douche douche douche douche douche douche douche douche douche douche douche douche douche douche douche douche douche douche douche douche douche douche douche douche x 100000000000 douches

You’re a monster

(Source: helldean)

Natasha Romanoff or Clint Barton?

(Source: barnnes)

(Source: robertdowneyjrs)

Europeans:
I drove forty minutes to the Netherlands for some groceries and then I popped into Germany to see some of my relatives before driving back home.
Americans:
I was in Florida, I drove for nine hours, now I'm still in Florida.
#australians:
i drove for nine hours #now i'm nine hours away from home #no one is here #the streets are empty #how did this happen #where has civilisation gone #i am alone in the universe #oh wait no there's an echidna it's okay
Canadians:
We left Toronto 2 days ago, We are still in Ontario, food is scarce. We are lost, soon we will have to eat each other to survive, oh wait there's a tims we're good.
Russians:
I was in Yakutia, I drove for twenty eight hours, now I'm still in Yakutia, I travelled by train for 6 days, I'm still in Russia. Don't even try to leave Russia. Don't forget: you're here forever. Accept it and suffer.
iamretrokid:

lmafo did he just enchant him?

iamretrokid:

lmafo did he just enchant him?

(Source: bballgifs)

fuqyourlies:

reasonswhydansafail:

sleepingartist:

urbancatfitters:

if i ever start a band i’m going to name it “music” and then it will be literally impossible to find any of our songs on the internet

the first album : “Unknown album”

the hit single: “track 1”

album art

image

Some people wanna watch the world burn

(Source: urbancatfitters)

jpgay:

*turns into a tree to avoid responsibilities*

guy:

rare photo of a cock on a pussy on a bitch on an ass

guy:

rare photo of a cock on a pussy on a bitch on an ass

(Source: foxxycleopatra)

spikespiegell:

do ya ever bring your pet up to a mirror and ur like “that you”

(Source: c-mines)

mootiness:

firony:

bombprince:

melonlordn:

ieatgokudera:

EYELASHES YOU ARE SUPPOSE TO PREVENT STUFF FROM FALLING IN MY EYE BUT WHEN YOU FALL IN MY EYE THEN WHAT AM I SUPPOSE TO DO YOU WERE MY LAST LINE OF DEFENSE AND YOU BETRAYED ME

How eyeronic

get off my post

You don’t have to lash out

these puns are far too cornea